25 March 2008

Forward motion: Progress

Theory has ruined my life.

As per usual, the end of the semester is bringing much frustration and angst as paper due-dates stack up. I feel like I've done nothing but read and write for the past month, and another month of the same promises to follow. All I know to do it weather the storm: push through as best I can and pray for the summer sun to follow quickly.

But it's times like this that make me question my life and its direction (or perhaps lack thereof). Right now, the thought of doing five more years of school beyond my undergraduate makes me physically ill. Writing more papers, preparing presentations, and attending conferences all seem to be more work than I really want to pursue. I am aware of the benefits of completing a PhD, but part of me is looking for a change in the pace of my life. Something novel needs to happen... and who knows what that may mean.

So, In an effort to continue the never-ending pursuit of myself, I've decided the following:
1. I will become a non-practicing homosexual. This means that any relationship is out of the question. I'm officially on hiatus from any and all relationships with men (or women, for that matter).
2. I am removing myself from any and all social events as of today. I will not attend parties, nor will I participate in any on campus functions. I will be available by e-mail and phone; that's it.

This may seem like isolationism, but trust me, it needs to be done. I need to focus on school right now and getting myself through the program I've selected. Only then will I be ready to add the other things in life back in.